BiblioAddict

On things I’ve learned about Britain, good and bad:

I believe I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ve never been to London.  Never even gotten close, truly.  In fact, the closest I’ve gotten is a British expat with whom I worked when I was high school.

But, you know I’ve heard things.  Or seen things, rather.  Like say, the Austin Powers movies.  Or the BBC tv shows my mom’s so fond of like the “Johnathan Creek” mystery show – has anyone else seen this? The protagonist, the eponymous Jonathan Creek, uses his background in magic to solve difficult mysteries. It’s great, although it was discontinued a few years ago -  and “As Time Goes By” with the always incredible Judi Dench.

I’ve read things too, like say the Elizabeth George Thomas Lynley series (which, once upon a time, was also supposed to become a BBC show – don’t know if it ever did though), although I stopped reading it a few years ago, just before George apparently killed off a main character.  I just wasn’t very interested continuing with it after that.  Besides, I’d already moved on to P.D. James.

And, of course, we can’t forget the classic stuff like a lot of Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Dickens, Bronte, Collins… well, you get the drift.

And what have I learned?  Well, from what I could gather, Brits apparently have a bad reputation for their teeth.  See: the scene in the second Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me (the best of the series, in my opinion – though BiblioGuy and I get into heated debates about this) when Austin breaks the mirror with his infamous yellow teeth:

And that they drink a lot of tea.  See: well, history.  And that their food isn’t very good.  See: Just about every response I’ve gotten from an American when I’ve asked what they thought about Britain.  Without fail, the answer is always, “It was great.  The food was pretty bad… but, it was great!”

And that the weather isn’t always so hot.  In fact, a lot of the time it’s rainy or cold or cloudy or some combination of the three.  And they have lovely accents.  See: Every Brit I’ve ever heard speak.  They could make the word “potty” sound like gold, or “love.”  And that they have a witty, cutting sense of humor.  See: just about every Brit I’ve ever heard crack a joke, including the ex-pat, recently-made American citizen Christopher Hitchens.

But, really. Is all this true?  Aren’t these just stereotypes in the same way that the morbidly obese, loud-talking, obnoxious, culturally ignorant, hamburger or hot dog eating, soda guzzling American is?  When I was in Japan, I once asked a Japanese man at dinner if he’d ever like to visit America.

He replied, “No.  Too much violence.  I might get in the middle of a car chase or a shoot-out or something.”  I would have laughed if he weren’t dead serious.  Apparently, he’d seen too many Hollywood action movies, no?  I couldn’t really blame him, though I was somewhat surprised given that he’d somewhat sneeringly asked earlier if all Americans thought all Japanese people knew karate.

I knew better.  But if I based all that I knew of Japanese culture on the movies and cartoons I’ve seen in my life then, yeah, I’d probably think that every Japanese person starting from the age of five had a set of nunchucks in their back pocket and killer round-house kick.

My point is, I was looking to get a more in depth view of London than I’d previously gotten.  Which is why I read Sara Lyall’s The Anglo Files.  That, and because her interview with NPR was entertaining and intriguing.  And also because I’ve always been fascinated by how Brits and Americans can seem so similar in a lot of ways and yet be so very different.  It’s like Bizzaro world, which personally I think is absolutley cool.

So what did I learn from The Anglo Files?  Mostly stuff I already knew.  That Brits really do – or, at least used to – have what we American’s would call “unhealthy” looking teeth:

Many older Britons grew up regarding anything other than basic dentistry – the kind that prevents all your teeth from falling out, and that’s about it – as excessive self-indulgence.  They are still suspicious of and even repulsed by American teeth, their unnatural sparkle and aggressively expensive eveness, their self-regarding sheen; away from London such teeth would seem as obvious and as fake as bad breast implants.

And Brits really do have a biting, though self-deprecating sense of humor, evidenced in the notorious personal adds in the London Review of Books.

The tradition began with the first submission the London Review received when it began to accepting personals, in 1998: “67 year-old dis-affiliated flaneur picking my toothless way through the urban sprawl,” the ad said, “self-destructive, sliding towards pathos, jacked up on Viagra and on the lookout for a contortionist who plays the trumpet.”

… …

“Tell me I’m pretty, then watch me cling, ” one woman declared.  There are many allusions to the heartbreak of failed former relationships: “My favorite Ben & Jerry’s is Acid Broiled Bones of Divorce Lawyer,” one ad said.  Some are just funny. “Woman, 38. WLTM man to 45 who doesn’t name his genitals after German chancellors, “one reads. “You know who you are and,  no, I don’t want to meet either Bismark, Bethmann Hollweg, or Prince Chlodwig zu Hohenlohe-Schillingsfurst, however admirable the independence he gave to secretaries of state may have been.”

On a side note, there is, by the way, a collection of these hilarious personal adds called They Call Me Naughty Lola, which came out last year. (Yet another covet for the TBR pile.)

I also learned that the weather really isn’t all that great, that Brits drink a lot (of alcohol), especially their politicians, and that the food really isn’t all that great, though things have begun to change in the last decade.  In short, I didn’t really learn anything I didn’t already know.  Although, the comparatively raunchy newspapers was definitely news to me.

Still, I found The Anglo Files an enjoying read, if not terribly informative.  Lyall is a funny sometimes witty narrator, despite feeling a little forced at times.  Many of the reviewers on Amazon (and Barnes & Noble) thought Lyall was a bit too negative in assessment of Britain.  And, despite the fact that I did enjoy it, I have to say that I agree.

Lyall moved to Britain over twenty years ago because her husband is British, but it’s very difficult to see from reading The Anglo Files why she’s still there.  Surely there must be something she likes about the country.  Something more than her husband and children.  But if there is, she doesn’t mention it in The Anglo Files.  If she hadn’t said as much, I would have thought she’d lived there for a year, then promptly hightailed it out of there.

So yes, The Anglo Files could have been more even-handed, but as an introductory guide to British culture this wasn’t a bad place to start.  It does make me wish I had a British friend willing to read this so they could share their thoughts.  Of course, I could go to Britain on day and find out for myself.  Believe me, it’s on my list of things to do.

The Anglo Files by Sarah Lyall
W. W. Norton & Company / Aug. 2008
$24.95 / 289 pps.

P.S. See. I keep my promises… Sometimes.